Greetings! I'm now blogging for University Congregational United Church of Christ. Yes, it's a  mouthful which is why we always just say, "U. Cong." Although sometimes this sounds like, "Yukon." And then people then you go to church way up in the frozen North.

Here is where you'll find me:

https://universityucc.org/how-hard-could-it-be/

https://universityucc.org/pained-glass/

https://universityucc.org/a-window-into-the-soul/


Enjoy and don't hesitate to leave comments there.

Jesus Goes To Yoga Class

Yes, fans, it's Q & A time again. This time I'm answering a bunch of huge, existential questions and if I really had all the answers I could start my own church or perhaps people would start thinking I'm the Messiah. Which I'm not.

How can spirituality impact healing and recovery? Are there any studies about this?

            First let’s define spirituality. In my book it’s a felt connection to something Beyond, to something Higher that transcends our individual little selves. I think it also means how we view life, where we find meaning, what we believe about pain in life, what we believe happens when we die. These are spiritual questions and different religions have different answers.

            Our answers to these spiritual questions greatly impact our healing and recovery. If we believe that life should be daily candy and unicorns then we’re going to be pretty pissed when we get a flat tire—or a cancer diagnosis.

            But if we believe that everyone gets some sewage thrown their way and that it’s up to each of us to find meaning in it then we’re going to have an entirely different life experience.

            And yes, there are many studies out there and all you have to do is Google “spirituality and healing” and then settle in with enough food and water for a year because that’s how long it will take you to read through them all. Studies are criticized because the bottom line for many science peeps is that human consciousness is derived from the brain, and that its effects are confined to the brain and body of an individual. So forget about prayer because anything you do can’t affect me. But studies show prayer makes a difference. 

            They are basically saying, “It’s not possible so why study it?” A little close-minded, don’t you think?

I don’t practice any organized religion right now, but I’m feeling the need for a spiritual element in my life. How do I go about finding out what is right for me? There are so many practices out there, I’m not sure where to start.

            A good place to start is looking at the spiritual beliefs with which you were raised and asking yourself where are you with those beliefs now. You may be surprised to find that your beliefs have changed or even more surprised to find that they are the same. If you haven’t been raised with any beliefs, then what resonates with you?  Ask yourself the aforementioned questions:

            How do I view life? What do I think about pain and difficulty in life? What do I think happens when I die? Where do I find meaning in my life? What do I need to nurture my spiritual life? A supportive community? Spiritual direction? Solitude?

            Don’t under estimate the value of a supportive community—a church, a sangha, a temple community. We love to think that organized religion is a bunch of mindless drones who all believe the same thing. Ha! Wouldn’t that be so much easier? In fact, my experience is that it is a group of people who are actively exploring their spiritual beliefs and seeking to live them out with support from one another. And it’s not that organized.

More questions next time!

The Cat Lick Church

I recently received this e-mail:

Dear Debra,

I am having a small religious crisis and need some help. I was raised in the Catholic Church. When I got married we had our marriage recognized by the Catholics although my UCC minister friend married us. It was more important to us to be married by someone who knew us than by some random priest.

When we were going through the pre-Cana process the priest had me sign a piece of paper saying that I would raise my children Catholic. I thought that I would probably do that at the time. It was also to satisfy my parents and my husband's mother.

Now I am thinking that I would like the choice to go in a different direction. I might end up with the Catholics but I have some problems with their stance on abortion, gay marriage, well, actually homosexuals in general, in addition to other political things. And I was really turned off by the whole priest sex scandal.

I also have difficulties with the Pope and the Vatican as a whole. I do, however, really sort of love the religion itself. It is the people that bug me.

The Old South Church has made a good home for me over the past few years but I don't know that I am going to stick with the United Church of Christ. I think faith is important and I need to do some exploration.

Is signing a piece of paper really a contract with God?

--M



Dear M,

I totally get your feelings about the Catholic church. In 1984 I was in Rome, staying at a monastery with a Catholic priest friend and I nearly converted. Why? Because I loved the liturgy and how the Catholics really appreciate and the Mystery of it all. And then there was that really cool art. And the incense. And of course the to-die-for vestments! Although I don't care for the Pope's hat. However I like the staff/sceptre accessory.

But like you, there was the issue of all that THEOLOGY that I just couldn't stomach. I realized I could take all the good stuff about Catholicism and use that as a Protestant. So that's why I get how you feel. So I don't think it's the people who bug you--I think it's their theology.

No, you did not sign a contract with God and I think Jesus would be laughing his long-haired bearded head off to hear that a group of folks devoted to Him (the Catholic church) could demand that you raise your child to believe exactly what they believe about Him.

I say wherever your soul feels fed is where you want to be. Wherever you are fed, comforted and challenged. If you feel that way at Old South Church stay there. Go to Mass at Christmas and teach your child an appreciation and acceptance for a different denomination. It will please the relatives as well.

If you say that you feel God is leading you to a different denomination (emphasizing that we are talking about the same FAITH here for Chrissake, excuse the pun), who's going to argue with the Voice of God? And nobody can argue with your feelings--you feel what you feel.

Happy Advent!

Debra

On The Road

Susan, thanks for your kind comment. It was an honor to marry you and Rich.

And now for the news: I've just returned from a nine day speaking tour in upstate New York. It was eighty-five degrees the whole time and my friend Carla and I thanked All That Is Divine for air-conditioning.

We drove from town to town and I spoke at three different Susan G. Komen events. They were all lovely, but the most fabulous was in the tiny town of Elmira, New York. They have no paid staff, only volunteers. The event was magical: organized, beautiful, well thought out. The people were kind, warm and generous.
I'm just now getting feedback from all these talks and I've managed to piss off a lot of people because I wasn't "preachin' Jesus" and I talked about death. The folks that loved my talks, loved it for those exact reasons.

Yes, of course I know that I can't please all the people all the time, but there is still this little kid in me that feels a bit stunned. Especially when I read a comment from a woman who is praying that I get back on the straight and narrow, quit using "shit" in my writing (oops) and stop talking about Buddhism.

Here's how it's shaking down: Those Who Have Never Had Cancer: didn't want to hear about spirituality or death; Cancer Survivors: loved hearing about both; Newly Diagnosed: Scared Shitless. (oops) Everyone agrees that my talk was unforgettable and that people are still talking about it.

New York state is fifty percent Catholic unlike my own state of Washington which is the most "unchurched" state in the nation. (And proud of it!) I realize what an amazing liberal bubble I live in here in Seattle. I'm speaking at the Komen Event here on October 27th and will rethink my talk--but not much.

If my goal is to sell books, then I have to tailor my talks so that people will like me. If people like you, they buy your books.

But you know what? That's not my goal. My goal is to get people thinking about death and dying and get comfortable talking about it. Talking about does not bring it on. If talking about something brought it on, I would have lost five pounds long time ago.

Being able to talk about death is freeing. I think that's why cancer survivors loved my talk--because cancer forces you to think about death. They've all had to think about it and it was refreshing for them to hear someone speak publicly.

As more responses come in, I'll share them with you. Tonight is my first reading at Third Place Books in Lake Forest Park. Wine and cheese at 6 p.m. Reading at 7 p.m.! I can't wait.