Saturday, August 18, 2007

The Parent's Reaction

Spray-paint around the bumps? Did I say someone should spray-paint around my parents? How about a giant CAUTION sign and then red flashing lights?

My mom is so mad that she couldn't even speak to me just now on the phone. My dad however, spoke to me and explained. "She thought you used too many cuss words. And she didn't like the part about sex. She's not even sure now that she wants anyone to buy it. "

Let me just say here that ANY swear words would be too many for Mom. In 256 pages I use maybe ten swear words. But to tell you the truth, I breathed a sigh of relief because what I thought she would be mad about--my writing about estrangement in the family--he never even mentioned.


So I explained to Dad that patients tell me all the time that no one ever talks about sex after cancer and no one is writing about it, so that's why I thought it important to write about it.

"Well, I see your point, honey, but your mother's so upset she's been snapping at me all week. She's like an alligator with PMS."

I thought that was pretty funny, but felt bad that she was taking it out on him. It made me wonder about what she thought I was going to write. Sigh.

I believe I have to speak my truth with love and compassion and then let the chips fall where they may. I'm not responsible for anyone's emotions but my own. At the same time I'll confess there is this little girl in me asking, "Mommy doesn't like it?"

1 comment:

kbyrd said...

There is just no telling about parents, is there? The book contains wisdom, wit, gutsy honesty, and flashes of the best theology I've read in a long, long while.

Not to mention hope, support, and honesty that will certainly buoy up many a cancer patient.

Shall we all call your mom and tell her what she's missing?