Bonnie And Clydes

On Friday morning, March 15th around 9:15 a.m. thieves broke into the downstairs study of Debra Jarvis and her husband. They pried open a window with a hatchet taken from their toolshed. The buggers didn't even bring their own tools. Only two things were taken: both of Debra's laptop computers. It is thought that the shrieking burglar alarm drove them off.

On Sunday, March 17th at 4:44 p.m. her MacBookAir sent her a message about it's location. (Her MacBookPro which was also stolen, did not have this feature in it.)

She immediately called and emailed the officer associated with her case. The officer never returned her messages. On Monday she even made an in-person visit to the North Precinct during which she was reminded about "limited time and resources." Tired of the lack of response from the Seattle Police Dept. Debra decided to take matters into her own hands.

On the afternoon of Tuesday, March 19th she went with Dave Morris and Kris Meyer to south Seattle or maybe DesMoines--though signs also said "Welcome To Burien."

 Debra, driving the get-away car, pulled up the street while Kris and David went to the house pretending to be interested in buying a BMW they saw on Craig's List. They were looking for a white w/black convertible top BMW which is actually the description of the get-away car involved in this theft. Oddly, the people in this house actually were selling a red BMW that was parked in the driveway. Considering it has flat tires and had been there since the last Google satellite photo, it was no surprise to hear that they were selling it for parts. Also odd that the brother of the person answering the door drove a silver BMW. That's a lot of BMWs.

 So they chatted a bit while Debra waited in the car. It seemed that the uncle who lives across the street had some information so Kris and Dave went over there. They came back to the car and reported that the uncle was "very big."

 They determined that they had better make A Plan. Since the computer was now locked, it was impossible to tell for sure if it was still at this address. The tracking device only works when someone is on the Internet. Locked computer=no internet access. She locked it because she wanted to save her files. But it is possible her files are gone anyway since someone changed the user name. The user name is now "TMoney" which Debra finds so infuriating she could spit nails.

 Debra wanted to go to the door by herself since the person who answered the door was a 20-something white male. Her reasoning was that she looked pretty harmless, although she was wearing Spy Clothes: jeans, running shoes, black sweater which wouldn't show blood stains--hers or anybody else's.

 But she ended up calling the North Precinct and talking to Det. Stephens. She explained to him that she was sitting outside the suspect's house--well, not exactly outside, but up the street. He told her to call 911 and tell them her plan and they would send a police officer out to stand by her.

 She did so and a dispatcher said she would send someone out from the King County Sheriff's Dept. The three waited in the car--for a long time. During this time Debra kept having hot flashes, so she kept the car key turned to "accessory" so that Kris and Dave could roll down their windows since it was getting pretty steamy in there.

 Nowhere in the car instruction manual does it mention that this kind of hot flash survival strategy will run down your battery. It really should. So when Dave suggested turning the car around so that we could see the police coming, she found she was unable to start said car.

More and more this was looking like a bad Caper Comedy. Kris suggested just letting the car sit and perhaps it would miraculously heal itself since it is after all a Subaru which we think means, "Bright Shining Divine Four-Wheel Chariot Star" in Japanese.

Debra, who has a real spiritual/religious bent, prayed mightily. In Japanese. Fifteen minutes later said car started.

 While they were waiting, the "very big" uncle went to the house, opened the garage door and did something in the garage. The tracking device showed that the computer was in the corner of the garage. The three were very antsy for the cop to arrive.

The officer finally arrived and after many phone calls to Det. Stevens and a discussion of search warrants, etc. Officer Maran said Seattle PD would not issue a warrant. He decided he would just go to the door and say, "A stolen computer has been tracked to this house."

 He did this and the aforementioned 20-something disavowed any knowledge of this. The uncle across the street who is not only "very big," but also "very bearded," came to see what was going on.

 Officer Maran said he'd call Debra if there was a break in the case, but it pretty much looked like she was screwed.

The white BMW with the black top was pulled over yesterday with four black men it. The police could not seem to find this car in their system as it turned up as "sold" on Thursday, March 14th, the day before the crime.

Debra is disappointed but at least she knows she did everything she could. She is also a little bit in denial and expects a tidal wave of chocolate will be going through her when she starts grieving all she has lost. And yes, she will make friends with iCloud.

Dave and Kris were brave and resourceful--especially during the hot flash storm.

Under penalty of perjury under the laws of the State of Washington, I certify that the foregoing is true and correct to the best of my knowledge and belief.

--Debra Jarvis