Tuesday, September 2, 2008

On Vacation!


Normally I strive to write something on this blog that is thought provoking, poignant or inspiring. But guess what? I’m on vacation, so the hell with that!

On Labor Day vacation we go to a funky, mildewy (but cheap) set of cabins on the Olympic peninsula. We started going here about 15 years ago because they take dogs.

Every year on this vacation I buy the gigantic hernia busting September issue of Vogue magazine, which after reading it, I use to work out my upper body especially after seeing all those pix of twig-armed models. And I don’t mean they are armed with twigs. But that is an intriguing image . . .

So today we leave behind the world of spirituality, cancer, existential meaning and discuss something really important: fashion!

More pointedly, models posing as Crabby Rich White People. Please look at the above photo and you will see what I mean.

What is wrong with these people?! They are wearing up-to-the minute fashionable clothes, they live in that mansion in the background, they appear to be in good health, and for god’s sake—they have dogs! Eight dogs! Seven Labrador retrievers (one is cut off) and what appears to be a Springer Spaniel.

How could you not be smiling with all those dogs? Especially the Spaniel. Those dogs can be nuts and totally hilarious. See how that guy is holding him with both hands? Probably because the Spaniel was jumping around like he had a chili pepper up his butt. I, myself, have seen Springer Spaniels run around like this and it’s very entertaining.

But do these people looked amused? No. They look angry, serious, snooty, smug and oh-so-bored with life. Maybe the tags on their panties are poking them. Perhaps they picked up a little giardia from drinking that pond water and they’ve got to get to a bathroom!

The grandmother has got the Queen Elizabeth thing going with the plaid coat and the head scarf, but you can tell she was a hottie in her time. She’s thinking, “None of these little bastards are getting my money. I’m leaving it to the Spaniel.”

And there are two horses! Everyone knows horses can be fun! But maybe they’re just visiting and that’s got everyone pouting and thinking, “If we only owned our own horses, then we’d be happy.”

What family is this? I do not think they are from Seattle although there are Canada geese in the pond and God knows we’ve got zillions of them here. Well, I don’t care who they are. I don’t like any of the clothes in this photos except for the fur coats.

And I like the one on the Spaniel the best.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am dying busting up. So few writers make me laugh as hard as Jarvis. She makes it look so easy to write witty things. I will laughing for the next few days thinking about the grandma in the picture leaving all her goods to the dogs.
Dr Ruston, a serious doctor who loves to laugh